Concerning: Telephones

Telephone = a big wooden box with a thing that looks like a horn sticking from it's center. Not to be confused with the coffin of Louis Armstrong, the common household telephone, as unclearly depicted to the right, contains two bell-like eyes that survey the room with a cold and annoying musicality. Prone to ring at any moment, the mating call of the domesticated telephone is most likely to be heard during the two or three minutes that you decide it is necessary to answer the other call of the wild.