Concerning: Pandas

Panda = the fuzzy, black and white mammal that doesn't spray noxious liquids from its posterior. The common North American Panda, whose natural habitat is most frequently characterized by metal bars, concrete paths, and trash cans stuffed full of empty peanut bags, can be found most frequently in American cities in the vicinity of wild tire swings and bamboo shoots. Also, due to the high traffic locations that the common North American Pandas tend to roost in, they tend to mate with significant infrequency, like, say, The Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons, or maybe some really ugly guy who goes to a lot of fancy bars. However, unlike ugly guys in fancy bars, pandas do not hit unsuccessfully on most females, instead slashing at them with their formidable claws or sinking their teeth into the soft and exposed areas of their defenses with a deftness that some might consider suprising. It should be noted that pandas are indeed black and white and that any addition of the color red in a panda's design indicates a fresh kill and a panda who is likely satiated and thus safe to approach.