Concerning: Black Holes

Black Hole = A hole in space-time caused by a collapsed star, visually characterized by a whirlpool of light and debris sucked toward the epicenter, otherwise known as the singularity, by the enormous gravitation pull of the exponential increases in mass. Although the effect is analogous in many ways to the black hole's earth-bound cousin the toilet, it is important to recognize that the manufacturing standard color of toilets is white and that catagorizing a black hole as the universe's waste disposal system is a risky proposition. However, it also must be noted that although materials such as toilet paper tubes, hairbrushes, and alligators would be equally prone to being sucked down both black holes and toilets, materials exiting a toilet simply depart from view while materials exiting through a black hole depart from reality as we know it. Furthermore, if one were to defecate into a black hole, it is in all likelyhood that the rectum would subsequently be sucked from the body followed by the large and small intestines, the stomach, throat, and tongue. No such effects occur when using a toilet though there are some toilets, particularly those in Europe, with a flush so powerful that some may fear that similar events might take place.

For further information regarding toilets and the forms toilets take, see Concerning: Confessional Booths.

Concerning: Body Builders

Body Builder = A creature composed primarily of steroids and protein supplemants that cling to a humanoid skeletal structure by means of high energy drinks and smoothy residue. The Body Builder's natural habitat tends to be hot and humid, most markedly characterized by over-amplified bass drums, the intense smell of human sweat, and the rhythmic clanking of metal. Though most body builders spend much of the daylight hours within their lairs, also called 'gyms,' they are not typically active nocturnally, instead chosing to retreat into a dark sleeping lair sometimes called an 'apartment bedroom' or simply a 'bedroom.' The body builder is not to be confused with Dr. Frankenstein or any other mad scientist though Dr. Frankenstein and several of his colleagues have in fact built bodies. If you believe that you or someone you love might be a Body Builder, Dr. Frankenstein, or a mad scientist, please seek out the nearest torch carrying angry mob, fly into a blind rage, and attempt to scale the nearest sky scraper with a virginal sacrifice over your shoulder so that you will no longer be a body builder, Dr. Frankenstein, or a mad scientist. Instead, you will be King Kong, and you will be king of the apes until you get shot off the lightning rod by circling airplanes.

Concerning: Confessional Booths

Confessional = a small booth, generally rectangular in shape wherein the occupant orally unloads a weight from their soul typically to a priest. This is not to be confused with either a porta-potty or a public toilet stall in which the occupant anally unloads a weight from their large intestine to a porcelain receptacle. Though there generally is no human receptacle in a toilet stall or portable bathroom, the human receptacles that do exist are generally termed "perverts" or "scatophiles." It should be noted that the occupant of both a confessional booth and a toilet stall exit feeling lighter and relieved, ready to face the day's unknown challenges but certain that the weight will return and that soon another release will be necessary. Please note that the confessional booth can also be confused with a phone both wherein the occupant orally unloads information to a receptive second party, but the nature of the information delivered through a phone booth phone is often either far cleaner or far dirtier than that delivered through a confessional.

Concerning: Yugos

Yugo = The machine in the photo is a Yugo, the finest automobile export of the Former Yugoslavian Republic. Do not let its appearance fool you; it is not a toolbox on top of a red wheelbarrow. Underneath that hood lies an engine containing five to ten horsepower capable of achieving speeds as high as forty kilometers per hour. Human Sprinters might have achieved like velocities in their top performances, but the Yugo can maintain top speed for minutes at a stretch. And Think: with capacity like you see in the picturem you can load a full suitcase or even a passenger with only a minimal expense of acceleration, gas mileage, and top speed. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the future is now, and though many critics of the Yugo claim it is obsolete they overlook the fact that the very thing that makes the Yugo so special is that the Yugo always has been and always will be obsolete, even when it was brand new and first off the line.