Concerning: Feathers

Feather: a man-made mechanical device characterized by a predominantly eggshaped chamber balanced on horizontal landing bars and lifted up into the sky by two sets of whirlling blades - one horizontal from the roof, the other vertical on the tail. Easy to spot because of their colorful exterior and unique features such as markings resembling the words "channel six," the common feather is an attractive addition to most skies. Mostly harmless in their natural state, an aroused common feather is however capable of causing considerable damage through a direct charge. It should be noted that some of the more aggressive breeds of feather bear high calliber machine guns under their noses and an array of various missiles. Do not attempt to parachute from a feather.

Concerning: Retirement age

Retirement age = though the exact number of years for retirement age varies based on culture, financial security, vocation, and the number of frog eggs hatched in Old Maid's Pond in Nashua, New Hampshire, the primary linking factor among all retirement ages is that one must retire when one's bowels move less than once a week. It makes sense. The pooper gives up, therefore so must the mind and heart follow. No one who does not execrete solid waste matter can do good work. How many times have you emerged from a hot, pungent public restroom thinking you felt like a new man? Obviously, defecation and youth are one and the same. Young at hard, strong of stool, so the folks from Budapest like to say.

Concerning: Postwar Economics

Postwar economics = what happens to an economy after a war. Some wars cause positive economic growth due to the available means of production facilities. Others might decline because of the swelling in the work force caused by returning soldiers or a massive decline in the work force caused by asses getting kicked. If I were postwar economics, I would tell the former enemy to go shove it. My gross national product would be better than theirs regardless of whether or not it was higher or lower.

Concerning: Albania

Albania = A country somewhere in Europe. You can find it on many maps. People live in it. There are likely several cities, a system of government. There may be a national currency, but perhaps the Euro has replaced it. If I were to draw what I thought Albania looked like, I would likely draw something akin to an ameoba. This is not to slight Albania, Albanians, or what I am sure is a proud national history. I could be going out on a limb here, but I also suspect that some Albanians might ride on trains from time to time. You never know. I sure don't, but I know that I don't. Did you?

Concerning: Placebos

Placebo = a thing which is not something but we think is that thing. Many people might think that a toupee is an example of a placebo, but in truth, only good toupees are placebo. Similarly, many people think that a chihuahua is a placebo for a dog. Unfortunately, do to it's genetic make-up a chihuahua is in fact a dog, and therefore it is not a placebo. A duck dressed like a dog would not be a placebo either, but that is for reasons that I cannot get into here. However, if people were to eat ping-pong balls, such meals would be much akin to a placebo for eggs, although pong is not a placebo for ping pong.

Concerning: Pandas

Panda = the fuzzy, black and white mammal that doesn't spray noxious liquids from its posterior. The common North American Panda, whose natural habitat is most frequently characterized by metal bars, concrete paths, and trash cans stuffed full of empty peanut bags, can be found most frequently in American cities in the vicinity of wild tire swings and bamboo shoots. Also, due to the high traffic locations that the common North American Pandas tend to roost in, they tend to mate with significant infrequency, like, say, The Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons, or maybe some really ugly guy who goes to a lot of fancy bars. However, unlike ugly guys in fancy bars, pandas do not hit unsuccessfully on most females, instead slashing at them with their formidable claws or sinking their teeth into the soft and exposed areas of their defenses with a deftness that some might consider suprising. It should be noted that pandas are indeed black and white and that any addition of the color red in a panda's design indicates a fresh kill and a panda who is likely satiated and thus safe to approach.

Concerning: Octobers

October = a month of the year in which I have noticed that posts do not occur on this blog. Though the specific reasons for the lack of further understanding of the world are unclear, they likely include changing weather, the widespread presence of pumpkins, and a dramatic increase in the usage of the color orange across the world. Though there is no direct cause and effect relationship between these factors and the postage of blogs, it can be argued that anybody who looks for correlations between the color orange, weather, and the presence of pumpkins and writing habits is a stupid fool whose physical being should be replaced in our universe with the innards scooped out to carve jack-o-lanterns. Lastly, October is also the only month of the year to contain 63 days, 9 day weeks, and an undocumented increase in the usage of the letters z, x, and q in every day speech.

Concerning: Telephones

Telephone = a big wooden box with a thing that looks like a horn sticking from it's center. Not to be confused with the coffin of Louis Armstrong, the common household telephone, as unclearly depicted to the right, contains two bell-like eyes that survey the room with a cold and annoying musicality. Prone to ring at any moment, the mating call of the domesticated telephone is most likely to be heard during the two or three minutes that you decide it is necessary to answer the other call of the wild.

Concerning: Artichoke Hearts

Artichoke Hearts = as depicted on the left, a disturbing layering of leaves that looks like a genetic crossbread between a jellyfish and a coral bed. From this perhaps we can speculate that sometime, millions of years ago, jellyfish and coral emerged from the say amid the frogs and lung fish, found a nice quiet spot in the shade, and made sweet love to the roars of the first, small dinosaurs. Out of their coupling sprang the artichoke. Within the artichoke is the fabled heart, that sweet beating vegetable meat that represents the unlikely love between a jellyfish and a coral pollyp. Such beautiful mysteries in nature - a shame that we are just now beginning to truly understand them.

Concerning: Egg Sacks

egg sacks = things you carry around eggs in. The most reliable source for finding an egg sac is in Kroger or any other major grocery retailer. Usually, the sacks are kept somewhere near the front although alternate sacks are generally available in the produce section. Furthermore, you have the option of bringing in your own sack, though it is important to bear in mind that any sack is simply not an egg sack unless it is used exclusively for the transport of eggs. As a result, you may want to chose carefully when deciding which sack would be the best sack for you unless you have a sufficient supply of sacks available at home or on hand with which to indescriminately dedicate any number of sacks to the sole purpose of carrying eggs. For further information, see concerning = eggs.